As a kid, our biggest dream in life is to finally reach the age where we aren’t our parents’ responsibility anymore and at last, belong to ourselves. Becoming an adult is what most of us spent childhood days pondering on, waiting impatiently to have our own money, need no supervision for leaving the house, and doing whatever it is we want. But adulthood isn’t easy. Especially when it comes to managing our mental health as, supposedly, fully functioning grown-ups.
Being a teenager with an anxiety and depression disorder had its impacts on how I coped with life. But being a 20-year-old who must manage that same condition can be just as, if not, more daunting. Because as an adult, there are expectations you must uphold and abide by.
It would be so easy to tell you that I don’t let those pressures get to me because I know my own worth and how important it is to look after myself and my mental health, but that’s not always true. I’m not always good at keeping on top of my wellbeing and even noticing when I’ve burnt myself out or started relapsing into a depressive episode. And sometimes, it’s hard to maintain my mental health because honestly, I often forget that I have specific conditions which make regular day-to-day activities that much harder to complete than the average person. And the reason for that is partially to do with being hard on myself and partially to do with the way society expects adults to manage how they feel.
Children and teenagers are always growing and changing, which is to be expected because those are their key developmental years. They may lash out, get upset, throw tantrums, or scream and shout, and all that is seen as pretty normal. However, if an adult were to do any of those things, it would be the worst thing ever and you’d most likely be given the title “immature” or “childish.” We expect children to cry and have negative emotions. But once we grow up, others may find it strange if we display our actual emotions which is why so many of us tend to hide them. And that, in turn, can have detrimental effects on our mental health.
Which is ridiculous because at the end of the day, we’re all human, it’s what we do. You can still be in your 20s and have a big cry over the way someone or something has made you feel. Or you can be a university student and get absolutely exhausted and stressed out by the cost-of-living crisis or having to live on your own. All those are valid feelings to have, and you’re allowed to express them in healthy ways. Maybe screaming at your mum or throwing things around the house isn’t the best way to react. But it is okay to feel however it is you feel about certain things. And it’s important to recognise when things are getting too much for you, so you can take a step back, breathe, and find a reasonable solution to manage it.
The transition into adulthood is scary and there will always be people who are going to judge you or expect you to be able to cope perfectly with life, but sometimes you just have to shut out the rest of the world and listen to yourself and your needs. I’ve learnt that it’s perfectly fine to do that and to not feel guilty for it. You might not feel okay right now, but one day this will all be much easier to handle if you remember how worthy enough you are to give yourself a break from time to time.
